


Manner-less dwarves!

by ScotCoyjedii



Series: The Loving Dwarves and a Hobbit lass [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, fem!Bilbo, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 18:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4231845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotCoyjedii/pseuds/ScotCoyjedii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwarves lack every form of manners!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Manner-less dwarves!

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing! I am almost incapable of slow burn because of my lack of patience somewhat at least i'll give it a go at a later date.  
> Part one of a new series!

I've dealt with all manner of mannerless morons. These guys were nice except when they started dancing on my table that's where I drew my line.

 

"Get off my table, or I'll lose Sheila on ya!" I warned they didn't hear me. I did grab my good hitting pan with Sheila inscribed on it pulling Fili's hair to get him off my table the drunk dwarf was making a fool of himself. I hit him in the back of the head he started to run around trying to loose me in my own home. 

 

"You stay off my table! It not the floor nor is it your chair or anything of the sort!"

 

"You got a good arm lucky dwarves have thick skulls." 

 

"Men in general have thick skulls! Now hold still!"

 

"No way!"

 

"He's here." Gandalf said in a harsh whisper as a knock came not just one a series of knocks.

 

"That be the door." Dwalin growled gruffly. His bark was worse than his bite but I was done.

 

"Oi Sheila! Go sick em! Fetch." I told my very large pet dire wolf Sheila bringing his hammer in her teeth as she tackled Dwalin leaving the hammer on his chest licking his face mercilessly. With that said I took this opportunity to use the frying pan Sheila to good use throwing it hard directly at the back of his skull. A hard thump came directly afterward along with the clattering of the dented skillet on my floor I went and answered the banging at the door apparently the dwaven race wasn't known for being patient. On anything except their chosen craft.

 

"Oh my." I opened the door to a handsome dwarf with smoky black hair and the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen in my life.

 

"May I come in Mistress?"

 

"Of course." I stepped aside letting him in. Noticing the blonde unconscious on the floor, deciding he didn't want to know or perhaps maybe the blonde deserved it. 

 

"I lost my way twice Gandalf this place isn't as easy to find as you said it would be." 

 

 

"Your stone sense isn't of any use above ground, Uncle Thorin." Kili teased his uncle.

 

 

"OFF My TABLE NOW!" I spat Kili was on my table again.

 

 

"I just had that fixed a week ago! Lobelia ruined it and stole my mothers silverware _again_!" I groaned Kili didn't hear me my voice was drowned out. I tied him up with my chair scythes and got Rose to play walkies. Where she walks him like a dog or in this case drags him around while walking backwards.

 

"Okay then?" Bofur was completely certain this girl was crazy.

 

"So this is the hobbit." He took my hand and gently kissed the knuckles of my hand. I could feel my ears heat up.

 

"Belladonna Bilba Baggins II at your service, Master Thorin."

 

"I'm guessing you knocked out my nephew Fili?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Stong arms then he has an _unusually_ thick skull." Thorin chuckled.


End file.
